Introduction: The Anointment

I am in pursuit to document my experiences as a cis queer woman in my mid-thirties with a moon cycle. I’m here to set the narrative straight for myself on the horrors many of you know as PMS and PMDD. I’ve experienced the push-through every day, being bogged down in absolute agony while having overwhelming guilt of how my suffering was affecting those closest to me.

I’ve wasted my last breath on it, all of it. This won’t be a story of how I overcame my PMDD diagnosis I received a few years back. In fact, I don’t plan to really tell most of the past of my story outside of basic relevant information. It doesn’t matter in this moment.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, PMDD is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It is a very severe form of PMDD, often life threatening. It affects people with menstrual cycles during different times of their fertile years. For more information on PMDD, click here. 

This is about how I’ve come into actualization and rudimentary acceptance (hey, its a process) around my diagnosis through shadow work. I have also connected with a few dark goddesses. I utilize the Hermetic Principles as a framework to actually understand my body better.

It is common knowledge in western culture that there is a disconnect between medicine and holistic healing. That is only the beginning of imbalance when receiving a PMDD diagnosis. 

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Using witchcraft to altar my state of reality around PMDD has been like this; you see a picture frame that is crooked. You go to adjust it, slowly and carefully. It still looks crooked. So you adjust it again. And again. And again. Until finally, you see a mirror is next to the frame. The mirror also is crooked. You stand in front of it. And thats when you realize, its not the frames. YOU are crooked. You’ve been trying to adjust the wrong thing the whole time. And you realize, in that moment, that there is nothing actually wrong with being crooked. You’ve been curved and twisted into all sorts of wondrous shapes, by all of the experiences of your life thus far. And you see both the light and the dark and how the two have intermingled from the beginning of the Universe’s existence. And that agitation of the “crooked” frame is gone. And you can breathe, deeply and fully.

I would love to share with you how I got here. And would encourage you to use any shred of my experience as inspiration on your own path. And anything that doesn’t resonate, just leave where it is for another to pick up.