On Primal Language: Part 2
Bear Heart of the Wind and Bear Clans. Muscogee Creek Nation.
So the way I am choosing to describe the concept of Primal language is to refrain from the use of negated words. Not to be confused with words that have a negative association. So if this is a new concept for you, let me explain with an example:
“This sucks.” = sucks has a negative connotation.“This is not comfortable.” = not is a negated word, meaning there is a lack of comfort.Using “no”, “non”, “anti”, etc are negated. It’s important to understand the difference, because I am by no means telling you to not address the negative in things in life. One of the major points of this entire blog, of our menstrual cycles, of our lives, of the universe, is the concept of duality. This is not to be diminished in this book.
Notice how I just used a negated sentence? Primal language is not necessarily something you want or need to obtain in your daily use of language. However, it can be extremely helpful when it comes to higher intentionalized words, subjects, etc. I choose to work more with primal language specifically in regards to things in my life I struggle with, but won’t use that on a regular basis. Therefore, how I address my PMDD diagnosis may have more intention of primal language use around it, whereas telling my toddler why we aren’t going to the zoo when its 12 degrees outside will not have that same intention.
This has been the way I have chosen to integrate the basic concepts of Primal language into my own craft, however, there is so much more to explore on the topic.
If you have any desire to learn about primal language more thoroughly, I highly recommend the following book:
So getting back to the point of this blog.
I have suffered an incredible amount in regards to this new development of PMDD a few years back. There were times when I felt like I was truly fighting for my life. But after all this time, month after month, the anticipation of what the next “flare up” would be like became nearly unbearable. I was feeling down and depressed all the time, even when I was not in my “flare up”, because of little reminders. The most prominent reminder would be when I would open up my calendar to put something in my schedule, only to see, the next “flare up” marked on the calendar. And it would serve as a reminder that the clock was ticking. Anyone who has suffered from PMDD knows that feeling, of impending doom.
So naturally, I put these two things together like a little ham sandwich and behold; I needed to greatly alter the way I spoke about PMDD and my “flare ups.” I realized, for the first time, how much negativity was surrounding the language I used. Because this was the language I was taught. My doctor had first diagnosed me with PMDD. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.
It was taught to me to be a disorder.It was taught to me to be disabling.It was taught to me to be a hinderance on my life.It was taught to me that this is where my uncomfortable symptoms were coming from.It was taught to me to be debilitating.It was taught to me that it was my body’s inability to respond correctly to this hormonal change of my menstrual cycle. It was not taught to me that the unrealistic expectations of society and capitalism are causes. It was not taught to me that there were gifts that would be given to me from this time. It was not taught to me that my intuition would become heightened.It was not taught to me that the pendulum swings both ways.But that last one didn’t need to be taught to me by my doctor. Because luckily I had hermetic teachings in my back pocket for that. It just took me a while to put the pieces together on my own.
I’m not saying that PMDD is not a disorder, or disabling, or any of the things. What I’m saying is that there are absolutely two sides to it, like everything. Before hopping on my computer to write this, I was crying harder than I have in well over a year, because I had accidentally subscribed my landlord to information on an alternative electric supplier. And when my husband and I were confronted by a very nice email reading “Hey guys! Was this you? I didn’t know if this was a mistake that needs to be canceled.” I completely lost it. I broke down and sobbed so hard, I could barely stand. I felt so weak. Yes, it was a mistake. Yeah go ahead and tell them you aren’t interested. I’ll be on my floor rocking back and forth until I can come to terms with feeling like I have majorly impacted your life to a point of no return. Thats what PMDD can look like at times. And I won’t take that away from myself. But what I WILL take away from myself is the language I personally use around it. So from this point on, you will only hear me refer to PMDD as my Luteal Phase. This is because, my particular “flare ups” are as long as my Luteal phase; the time from which I ovulate to the time I start to bleed. Some people’s “flare ups” are shorter. Which, by the way, thats another phrase I’m trashing. Immediately. Hence why its been in quotes.
They are my overcast days.
My stygian state of being.
Or, my time of introspection. Just to name a few fun phrases I’m working on.
These don’t have to be positive in nature, but rather just feeling out verbiage that doesn’t feel as dense and sticky to me. That is the basis of where I started rewiring myself.
